These Nigerians once found themselves sitting on more money than they’d ever had before. Unfortunately, a mix of bad decisions, misplaced confidence, and bad luck meant the money didn’t last. They share how they made it, how they lost it, and the lessons they learned the hard way.

“I lost my money investing in bad stocks” – David*, 63, (M)

I received a severance of ā‚¦15M when I retired in 2019. I decided to invest it in stocks. I didnā€™t trust that a broker wouldnā€™t abscond with my money, so I read a few books on investing and began building a portfolio myself. At first, almost every stock I bought went up, and my profits grew to ā‚¦20M.

Instead of taking profits, I convinced myself I was an investing expert and doubled down on riskier stocks. When the stocks started to tank, I kept telling myself prices would recover, but they kept falling. By the time I sold, I’d lost all my gains and ā‚¦6M of my capital. I took the rest of the money out and started a small poultry farm instead. I learned that I shouldnā€™t be overconfident in a field Iā€™m not familiar with.

°Õ³ó±šĢżĀ is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.Ā Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.Ā .

“Gambling gave, gambling took away” – Gboye*, 30, (M)

I was a chronic gambler until one moment in 2022 changed my life. By sheer luck, I turned ā‚¦20k into almost ā‚¦12m from a string of bets in one weekend. I didnā€™t tell anyone about it.

Instead of withdrawing and investing, I became convinced I had cracked the system. I started placing bigger bets. Within three months, I only had ā‚¦500k left. It was the major reason I left gambling.

I felt so stupid and depressed. I should have just bought a car or something else. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth each time I remember it.

“Losing my windfall made me realise the importance of financial responsibility” – Yemi, 29, (M)

In 2018, the biggest amount of money I’d ever seen landed in my account after I got paid for a contract job. ā‚¦3 million.

I told myself I’d enjoy it before becoming responsible with the rest of it. I wanted people to see I was doing well. I lived lavishly, bought myself some new devices and ate out a lot. Six months later, I checked my account balance and realised I had almost nothing left to show for the ā‚¦3M. No investments. No savings. I was basically back where I started. That was when I started taking financial responsibility seriously. If you blink, you can lose it all.

“I started a business I didn’t understand” – Aisha*, 40, (F)

When my grandmother died in 2012, I inherited ā‚¦5 million. I decided to start a supermarket business. I didnā€™t have any experience, but I thought I would figure it out as I went. It didnā€™t go as planned.

I trusted the wrong people to manage it. There was constant theft, bad record-keeping, and costly losses. Within two years, the business had collapsed, and most of the money was gone. It pained me that I didnā€™t just keep the money in a bank.

“I over-estimated my income flow” – Kemi*, 26, (F)

When I first started working as a mobile phone videographer in 2023, I made ā‚¦3.2M in just three months. I thought that was how money would be coming in, so I moved out of my parentsā€™ house and bought a new phone with ā‚¦2.2M total. I had ā‚¦1M left over and thought that would hold me until more came.

Unfortunately, I ran into a long dry spell after that and only made small amounts like ā‚¦150k/gig for the rest of the year. Each month, I watched the money dwindle until I had to admit to myself that I couldnā€™t afford to renew my rent. I moved in with my older sister instead. The biggest lesson I learned is that if you canā€™t buy it twice, you probably canā€™t afford it long-term.

Read Also: 8 Nigerians Recall How They Spent Their First Salary

From newlyweds who became parents almost immediately to couples who struggled to find their rhythm once they settled into their new roles as mummy and daddy, these stories unpack the joy, pressure and constant adjustments that come with raising children together.

ā€œHaving children early affected usā€ ā€” Precious*, 29

I got pregnant two months after our wedding. Then our second and third children arrived in quick succession. Sometimes, I wish weā€™d had more time to enjoy being husband and wife before becoming parents.

Those first few years were difficult. Between pregnancies and raising young children, there was very little room for us as a couple. We argued more often, and there were moments when I felt completely overwhelmed and questioned whether I was ready for marriage at all.

Things improved once we settled into a routine and became intentional about protecting our relationship. These days, we leave the children with family occasionally and make time to reconnect.

ā€œAfter two kids, our closeness disappearedā€ ā€” Chika, 51

Before we had children, my husband and I were inseparable. Weā€™d spend hours talking after work, wear matching outfits whenever we went out and look for every excuse to spend time together. When our daughter was born, it took us a while to settle into parenthood, but we still made time for each other. Then our son arrived.

He came a few weeks early and developed jaundice. Between caring for him and raising a toddler, our routine disappeared overnight. Before we knew it, the only things we talked about were school fees, nappies, nannies and feeding schedules.

For years, Iā€™d sit right beside my husband and still miss him because it felt like we had stopped seeing each other. We didnā€™t get even a semblance of our old closeness back until both our children left for boarding school.

°Õ³ó±šĢżĀ is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.Ā Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.Ā .

ā€œThe pressure of providing almost ruined my marriageā€ ā€” Ugo, 42

I always thought becoming a father would give me a sense of pride and legacy. Instead, it introduced me to a level of pressure I wasnā€™t prepared for. I became obsessed with providing the best life possible for my children. Without realising it, I focused so much on earning money that I stopped showing up emotionally at home.

My wife eventually told me she felt like she was carrying all the emotional labour by herself. That conversation changed me. Iā€™ve had to make a conscious effort to slow down, be more present with my children and reconnect with my wife.

ā€œMy mum had to move in before I lost my mindā€ ā€” Sola, 38

Nobody warned me how exhaustion could slowly change your personality. After I had our twins, sleep became a luxury. If one baby stopped crying, the other immediately started. My husband helped whenever he got home from work, but he was always exhausted after a long day, too.

At first, we worked as a team. Then the sleep deprivation caught up with us. Every small disagreement turned into a fight about whoā€™d woken up last, whoā€™d done more and who was more tired. It wasnā€™t really about the babies anymore. I just felt exhausted, unseen and deeply unappreciated.

I genuinely thought our marriage was falling apart. Everything changed when my mum moved in to help with the babies. Once I started sleeping properly again, I slowly felt like myself.

ā€œMotherhood became my whole identity. Iā€™m learning to love itā€ ā€” Amina, 45

Motherhood has swallowed every part of who I used to be. Before I had children, I had routines, hobbies and a strong sense of independence. Then I became a mum, and suddenly everything revolved around my children.

I love them deeply, but sometimes I feel like Iā€™ve disappeared in the process of raising them. My husband still had time for work, friends and hobbies, but my life became work, church and home.

These days, Iā€™ve chosen to find purpose in motherhood. By Godā€™s grace, Iā€™ll become a grandmother someday too, and I hope Iā€™ll find joy in that season as well.

ā€œWe were so exhausted, we stopped having sexā€ ā€” Tolu, 32

After our son was born, our sex life changed completely. We went from having sex several times a week to once if we were lucky. It wasnā€™t because we loved each other any less; we were simply exhausted from our roles as parents.

There was always a crying baby, laundry, work or something else demanding our attention. By the end of the day, sleep felt far more appealing than sex.

At first, I worried something was wrong with our marriage. Then I spoke to a few other dads and realised how common it was when children get into the picture. 

Weā€™ve had to learn new ways to stay emotionally connected, especially now that physical intimacy isnā€™t as frequent as it used to be.

ā€œI wasnā€™t prepared for what postpartum depression did to my wifeā€ ā€” Emeka, 48

My wife developed postpartum depression after our first child, and nothing prepared me for it. My mum kept saying it would pass, so I convinced myself things would eventually get better.

But they didnā€™t. My wife became withdrawn and emotionally distant, and I felt completely helpless. I was terrified sheā€™d hurt herself and leave me to raise our baby alone. Eventually, I insisted we return to the hospital and also hired a nanny to support us. Thankfully, she gradually became herself again.

Looking back, Iā€™ve never been more afraid during our marriage. That experience completely changed how I see marriage. It isnā€™t just about finding a helpmate. Sometimes, youā€™re the one who has to carry your partner until theyā€™re strong enough to carry themselves again.

ā€œMotherhood suddenly made everyone respect meā€ ā€” Rukayat, 40

The biggest surprise after I became a mother was how differently people treated me. My parents, in-laws, neighbours, almost everyone suddenly spoke to me with a new level of respect. I was still quite young, but for the first time, I felt like a proper adult.

Thankfully, my daughterā€™s stubborn personality humbled me before I could let it get to my head. Sometimes I laugh when I think about it. It took over 18 hours of labour before everyone finally decided I deserved respect.

ā€œParenting exposed how differently we were raisedā€ ā€” Dekunle, 37

I never expected parenting to expose just how differently my wife and I were raised. Weā€™ve constantly argued about discipline, routines and even bedtime.

What I considered normal correction, she thought was too harsh. What she called gentle parenting, I thought was spoiling.

Weā€™ve had to unlearn a lot and intentionally decide what kind of parents we want to be, rather than simply repeating how we were raised. It hasnā€™t been easy, but itā€™s been fascinating to watch our child adapt to different methods as we figure it out together.

ā€œBecoming a mum made me understand my parentsā€ ā€” Funmi, 39

Becoming a mother completely changed how I see my own parents. For the first time, I understood their sacrifices and frustrations because now thereā€™s nothing I wouldnā€™t do for my children. It also made me realise how complicated parenting really is. Every decision feels enormous. Which school should they attend? Where should we raise them? Are we making the right choices?

In the middle of all this, Iā€™m constantly thinking about my husband. Imagine carrying all that while also feeling responsible for your entire family. Parenting has given me a new appreciation for him. Itā€™s not easy, and honestly, itā€™s only by Godā€™s grace that weā€™re doing our best.

ā€œI felt guilty because I didnā€™t enjoy motherhood all the timeā€ ā€” Nkiru, 36

I love my child deeply, but there are days I miss my old life. I havenā€™t slept properly since I had my seven-year-old. Spontaneous plans have disappeared because I always have to think about whoā€™ll look after my child.

In those early years, I felt like I wasnā€™t allowed to complain. Everyone expects mothers to be grateful all the time, but motherhood can also be exhausting and overwhelming.

When I finally opened up to other women, I realised I wasnā€™t alone. They were struggling too. That helped me breathe a little. At first, I even resented my husband because it seemed like parenting came more easily to him. Looking back now, I know I couldnā€™t have survived those years without him. If he hadnā€™t been there, I probably wouldā€™ve packed my bags and left my son with my mum.

ā€œHaving children made me love my husband even moreā€ ā€” Abosede, 39

Most people always talk about how children make marriage harder, but nobody talks about how much they can strengthen it, too. The newborn stage with our two children was incredibly hard. We were exhausted and irritable, and we barely had time for each other. But somewhere in that chaos, I started seeing sides of my husband Iā€™d never seen before.

Watching him wake up at 3 a.m. to soothe a crying baby or patiently brush our sonā€™s hair before school made me fall in love with him all over again. I loved him as my husband before, but now I admire him as a father too. I canā€™t deny that it has made our marriage stronger than it ever was when we just got married.

Navigating Crisis follows couples who hit a wall in their relationship and found their way back to other. Dropping July 17.

Here’s your next read: Married Nigerians on Staying After Their Partner Cheated

We asked Nigerians to tell us about the worst thing a family member did during their wedding, and how they dealt with it. Hereā€™s what they said.

ā€œMy aunt printed extra wedding invites behind my backā€ ā€” Temidayo*, 32, F

When my husband and I were planning our wedding in 2019, we told our families we didnā€™t want a big celebration. But because we are both firstborns, they kept pressuring us. Eventually, we agreed to 250 guests. It was more than we wanted, and I made it clear that 250 was my limit.

After the church service, I got to the reception and immediately noticed something was wrong. The venue was packed. I was already upset because I thought the venue had double-booked the day, but that wasnā€™t the case. 

I later found out that my aunt had secretly printed 200 extra invitation cards and had invited almost everyone in my motherā€™s extended family, plus people from our hometown. She even hired two extra caterers and servers.

A venue that should have comfortably seated 300 people had to squeeze in over 450. The ACs couldnā€™t cool the space, and everything became clumsy and chaotic. My aunt wasnā€™t apologetic in the least. She said she didnā€™t know why I wanted to keep my wedding a secret. I was so angry, I spent the rest of the reception stewing. 

Iā€™ve refused to speak to or interact with her since then. 

°Õ³ó±šĢżĀ is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.Ā Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.Ā .

ā€œMy brother tried to ruin my wedding after partyā€ ā€” Segun*, 37, M

My family is deeply religious, so my parents insisted thereā€™d be no alcohol at the wedding reception. My wife and I didnā€™t mind because weā€™d planned an after-party with our friends.

Before the big day, my groomsmen stocked my car with cartons of alcohol. I gave my younger brother, who was also my best man, the car key because I trusted him completely. 

The reception went well, and then it was time for the after-party. When the older guests left, I started looking for my brother so we could bring out the booze. He was nowhere to be found, and his number wasnā€™t going through either.

I had to beg my friends to rush to a supermarket to buy more alcohol, which meant spending more money. I was angry, but I tried to enjoy the night. 

The next day, during the Thanksgiving service, I asked my brother why he had disappeared the night before. He then explained that drinking alcohol ā€˜didnā€™t honour God or our parentsā€™ and he felt like my friends had pressured me into wanting an after-party. I  almost beat him up. I was so angry I didnā€™t speak to him for weeks. The only reason I eventually forgave him was that he hadnā€™t thrown the drinks away.

ā€œMy father invited my ex-boyfriend to the weddingā€ ā€” Chika*, 34, F

Three years before I got married, I dated a man my father absolutely adored. Iā€™m not even sure why. The relationship ended after he cheated on me, but somehow my father never stopped liking him.

Imagine my shock when I noticed him at my wedding reception. At first, I thought he’d somehow gotten an invitation through mutual friends, but no. My father invited him.

When I confronted my dad, he said that he thought we were still friends. I still cringe whenever I remember that day. Every time I caught a glimpse of him at that reception, I got irritated. It was so bad that my husband noticed, and I had to explain what happened. It was so embarrassing.

ā€œMy cousin stole the money they sprayed at the weddingā€ ā€” Tunde*, 33, M

When I got married, guests sprayed us with a lot of money, and my dadā€™s friends also gave us several cash gifts. We had a designated area for envelopes and a table for presents.

The wedding was fantastic, and my wife and I didnā€™t realise anything was wrong until we started sorting gifts the next day. Several envelopes were empty, and others were missing.

After asking around, we discovered my cousin had been helping himself to the money throughout the reception. I don’t know why he thought nobody would notice. The betrayal was shocking. This was someone I’d grown up with.

The worst part was how my family handled it. Instead of demanding accountability, they kept asking me to forgive him because he’s family. I eventually did, but Iā€™d never trust him with anything important again.

ā€œMy cousin announced her pregnancy during my bridal showerā€ ā€” Bimpe*, 31, F

My older cousin had been trying for a baby for years, so when she told me sheā€™d finally gotten pregnant about two weeks before my wedding, I was genuinely happy for her.

She wanted to keep the news private, and I respected her wish.

Two nights before my wedding, my female relatives, bridesmaids and aso-ebi ladies organised a small bridal shower for me. Halfway through the shower, my cousin stood up and announced that she was expecting.

The room exploded. People screamed, cried, hugged her, and completely forgot why weā€™d gathered in the first place. I just sat there watching my bridal shower turn into a pregnancy celebration. I felt guilty for being upset because I knew how much the pregnancy meant to her. But it still hurt. There were so many other days she could have made that announcement. Why choose mine?

ā€œMy uncle nearly started a fight over foodā€ ā€” Ibrahim*, 40, M

I was already stressed enough without having to manage grown adults behaving like toddlers.

One of my uncles arrived late to the reception and discovered the caterers had run out of the meal he wanted. Instead of choosing something else, he started shouting at the servers. Another uncle told him to calm down. Within minutes,

it escalated into pushing, insults and people threatening physical violence. I was so embarrassed. Thankfully, my cousins and some groomsmen stepped in before things got worse.

The fight lasted less than 10 minutes, but it became the main topic of conversation afterwards. Eight years later, my family members still bring it up whenever my wedding is mentioned.

Sunken Ships: I Lost My Best Friend After Dating A Woman He Said I Could Have

Ibrahim*(32) was more than a friend to Deji*(31), he was a brother. They met as university students, bonded over their love for football, and spent years navigating adulthood together.

For Sunken Ships, Deji shares how that brotherhood slowly fell apart after he fell for a woman Ibrahim once wanted. 

Letā€™s start at the beginning. 

I met Ibrahim at a football viewing centre at our university. We kept running into each other during the 2017 Premier League season. One day, we got talking and found out we were both die-hard Manchester United supporters. That was how our friendship started. 

What were the early days of your friendship like?

Fantastic. Ibrahim quickly became my closest friend. We talked every day and shared everything: family issues, money problems, relationships, and career plans. Heā€™s a year older than me and always seemed to have life figured out. I looked up to him like an older brother. Whenever something important happened in my life, he was the first person I called. 

 I can never forget an event that happened during my final year in 2018.  I lost a chunk of my school fees to gambling, and got desperate as the payment deadline got closer.  Eventually, I opened up to Ibrahim. He scolded me but also helped me raise the money, and made me promise to quit gambling. That moment deepened our bond even more.

Sounds nice.

Yes, Iā€™ll always be grateful to him for that. It made me feel like I could count on him no matter what. 

Even after school, we stayed close. In 2021, when I wanted to leave my family home, Ibrahim suggested we rent a two-bedroom flat together in a building his grandmother owned. The rent was cheaper, so it made sense.

°Õ³ó±šĢżĀ is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.Ā Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.Ā .

Right. And what was living together like?

At first, it was great. We split chores, paid bills on time and spent most evenings watching football together. Ibrahim also loved hosting game nights, so there was always something happening. It felt like living with a brother. 

The only area where we really differed was dating.

What do you mean?

Ibrahim believed money was the quickest way to a woman’s heart. Heā€™s a data analyst and earns well, so he never hesitated to spend on the women he liked. I’m the opposite. I don’t earn as much as he does, so I rely more on conversation and personality. 

Right. Did this difference ever become a problem?

We joked about our different approaches, but it was never a serious issue.

Oh. 

Then in 2024, Ibrahim told me about a woman he’d met online.  He really liked her, but from what he told me, she wasn’t very receptive.

At the time, I didn’t think it was anything serious. He talked about her often and seemed disappointed that things weren’t progressing. Eventually, he stopped mentioning her, so I assumed heā€™d moved on. 

Then, in early 2025, I met the same woman through a mutual friend, and we started talking. Once I realised who she was, I knew I needed to talk to Ibrahim before pursuing anything.

How did that conversation go?

I told him I liked her and asked if he’d be uncomfortable with me pursuing a relationship with her since things between them hadn’t worked out. He said there was no problem, and I completely believed him.

If he’d told me he wasn’t comfortable, I would’ve backed off, but he seemed calm about it and gave his blessings.

So what changed after you started dating the woman in question??

Everything.  He became distant. We stopped doing things together, not the game nights or the football matches. Whenever I tried to make conversation, he’d shut it down with one-word responses.

Must have been tough.

The worst part was how he treated my girlfriend whenever she visited. He never greeted her, never spoke to her and acted like she wasn’t there.

She asked me a few times if she’d offended Ibrahim, but I kept telling her not to worry.

Did you try talking to him about it?

I did, but he insisted everything was fine and claimed he was busy with work. Still, his behaviour stayed the same. Then, in September 2025, he finally came clean.

He told me our living arrangement wasnā€™t working anymore and said I needed to move out. At first, I thought he was joking, but once I realised he wasnā€™t, the shock and hurt hit me.

I was confused by the whole situation because I’d specifically asked for his blessing before pursuing the babe.

Right. Did you remind him?

Of course. Thatā€™s when he admitted that he only agreed because he didn’t want to seem selfish. That was the first honest thing heā€™d said about the situation.

But I continued looking for a new place anyway because he didnā€™t rescind his decision. He still wanted me out. The whole period between finding a new place and still sharing the apartment with him was miserable. We went days without speaking. It felt like I was living with a stranger. 

Eventually, I found a place in April 2026. It felt sad to leave because Iā€™d spent years building that relationship. But it is what it is. Iā€™m still with my babe, and the relationship is thriving.

Do you ever wonder if the relationship was worth losing Ibrahim over?

Sometimes. I donā€™t regret my relationship. I just wish I’d found a way to keep both. 

Do you think you’d reconcile if Ibrahim reached out?

It wouldnā€™t be easy, but I’d still try. A part of me hopes we’ll speak again someday.

At the end of this story, youā€™ll get to answer one question: Did she fuck up or not?

This is Bolaā€™s dilemma, as told to Betty:

My husband, Biodun, and I met at church in 2010. He was handsome, charming and a solid Christian, so when he asked me to be his girlfriend, I happily said yes. 

The relationship was beautiful, and in 2012, we got married. Biodun taught at a secondary school while I ran a provision store. We didnā€™t have much, but we lived comfortably within our means. 

Everything changed in 2017, shortly after we had our second child.  A building contractor from the church offered Biodun a job in Abuja. The pay was generous, and heā€™d also earn commissions. We agreed it was too soon to move the whole family, so he moved alone while I stayed back with the kids.

The first year was amazing. The extra income transformed our lives. I moved to a bigger shop, hired a live-in nanny and even bought a car. Biodun also bought a car and rented a spacious 2-bedroom apartment in Abuja. Every month, heā€™d fly to Ibadan, spend about a week with us, then return to work. We were happy. 

°Õ³ó±šĢżĀ is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.Ā Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.Ā .

The problems started in 2019.

I suggested joining Biodun in Abuja, but he refused. He said the city wasnā€™t safe, and he didnā€™t want the kids growing up there. I wasnā€™t convinced, but I accepted his reason. 

Then COVID happened. Biodun could no longer make his monthly visits because of the lockdown. The nanny also quit and moved out. Suddenly, I was stuck at home alone with two kids. He called often, but phone calls couldnā€™t replace having my husband around.

After the lockdown was lifted in May, I waited for Biodun to visit, but he didnā€™t. After two months, I asked him when he planned to come home. Thatā€™s when the excuses started. 

He was really busy because business had kicked off again. He had an important event he couldnā€™t miss because of  networking. The excuses kept coming, and I grew more upset.

I even reported him to his mother. She promised heā€™d come home, but nothing changed. I kept telling him how much the children and I missed him, how lonely I was becoming and how I needed him around. Heā€™d promise to visit soon, but he never did.

I stayed patient for a whole year. 

When he told me he wasnā€™t going to make it to Ibadan for Christmas in 2022, I simply said, ā€œNo problem.ā€  After the holidays, I packed my things, took my children and moved in with my married sister. 

When my mother found out, she was livid. She called Biodun, who bombarded me with calls, demanding that I move back into the house with the kids. I refused. 

I told him I was tired of the loneliness. If he was going to make me live like a single mother, I at least wanted another adult in the house to talk to at the end of the day. I told him I wasnā€™t coming back unless he agreed to relocate us to Abuja or return to Ibadan himself. 

By then, Iā€™d also convinced myself he had another woman in Abuja. I was determined to make it hard for him to abandon our family. 

He accused me of standing in the way of our progress, and I accused him of trying to avoid his responsibilities. We couldnā€™t see eye to eye. It took both our families’ intervention before he finally agreed to let us join him in Abuja.

But now I wonder if it was worth it. We moved here in 2023, yet Biodun still feels distant. 

He leaves early every day, comes home late and barely speaks to me beyond whatā€™s necessary. Heā€™s affectionate with the kids, but itā€™s like heā€™s shut me out completely. Iā€™ve tried different ways to bridge the gap between us. I even suggested moving back to Ibadan, but he refused. 

Now, Iā€™m in Abuja with my husband, but I feel just as lonely as before.

Iā€™ve been asking myself if I messed up by insisting we move here. I was only trying to protect my home.

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READ ALSO: Sunken Ships: My Brother and I Stopped Speaking. I Lost Him to the APC 

We asked men who earn less than their partners how it affects their relationships. Hereā€™s what they had to say.

ā€œIt took me a while to stop feeling insecureā€ ā€” David*, 31

When my girlfriend got a promotion two years ago, her salary became almost double mine overnight. Iā€™d be lying if I said it didnā€™t bother me. I grew up believing a man should always be the main provider, so I felt like I was failing.

The funny thing is, she has only tried to make me feel comfortable about it. The insecurity was entirely mine. It took months of conversations and self-reflection for me to realise that my worth wasnā€™t tied to my paycheck. These days, Iā€™m genuinely proud of her achievements. If anything, her success motivates me to pursue my own career goals more aggressively.

°Õ³ó±šĢżĀ is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.Ā Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.Ā .

ā€œI worry about the future more than the presentā€ ā€” Kunle*, 38

My girlfriend earns more than I do, and right now things are okay. We split expenses according to what each of us can afford, and nobody is struggling. My concern is what happens later.

What if we get married and have children? What if her career continues growing while mine remains stagnant? I sometimes worry that the gap will become so large that resentment will creep in, even if neither of us intentionally means it. 

She allows me to speak to her about these fears openly, which helps, but Iā€™d be dishonest if I said they donā€™t cross my mind often.

ā€œItā€™s honestly a relief. I love itā€ ā€” Ayo*, 33

Before my current relationship, I dated people who expected me to pay for absolutely everything. Even when I was struggling financially, I felt pressured to keep up appearances because ā€œIā€™m the man.ā€

My current girlfriend earns far more than I do,  and she doesnā€™t see money as a measure of authority.  She willingly chips in more than I do. We support each other and contribute based on what we can afford. Iā€™ve never felt so relieved. Thereā€™s less pressure, fewer financial arguments and more room for us to enjoy. Sheā€™s also really smart with money, and Iā€™ve been learning a lot from her about saving and investing smarter. This is the healthiest relationship Iā€™ve ever had.

ā€œMy wife helped me salvage my bruised egoā€ ā€” Dimeji*, 54

I supported my wife when she started her provisions business 23 years ago. Over time, the business grew beyond anything either of us had imagined, and she began earning several times what I made.

Financially, it was great for the family. We moved into a better house, paid school fees comfortably and took trips abroad. But emotionally, I struggled. Iā€™d spent most of my life believing my role was to provide, so I felt lost when I was no longer the top earner. God bless my wife for remaining submissive and homely. She never made me feel bad for not earning as much. Sheā€™d even tell people who asked that I make more money. Sheā€™s really the best.

ā€œItā€™s not a problem because I also earn wellā€ ā€” Jonathan*, 28

Some may think that my wife earning more would have a negative effect on my self-esteem or masculinity, but that isnā€™t the case at all. I earn about Ā£5800 after tax as a senior developer, and she earns Ā£6300 as the head of operations in her company, so weā€™re very comfortable. Genuinely, I donā€™t feel the financial imbalance in any way. We save together and pay bills together.

 My salary is enough for anything we need, and hers can too. So imagine us working as a team, itā€™s just been amazing. If I can give a piece of advice to any guy in my position, Iā€™d say, ā€œYou lucky bastard, donā€™t let that beautiful lady goā€.

ā€œIā€™m scared people think Iā€™m with her for moneyā€ ā€” Femi*, 27

My girlfriend works in tech as a data analyst and earns more than thrice what I make. Itā€™s never been an issue between us, but Iā€™m very aware of how it looks from the outside.

Whenever she pays for something expensive or takes us on a trip, I worry that people assume Iā€™m taking advantage of her. Even some of my friends make comments like, ā€œYouā€™ve hit the jackpot,ā€ as if Iā€™m dating her for financial security. Itā€™s frustrating because I genuinely love her, and Iā€™m working hard to build my own business.

The situation has forced me to become more confident in myself. I canā€™t control what people think, but I know the woman I love, and sheā€™d never think so lowly of me. As long as we continue to respect each other, outside opinions donā€™t matter to me.

Married Nigerians Get Honest About Their First Years Together

Growing up, Morenikeji* (29) adored her older brother, Ayo* (33). He was smart, responsible and constantly held up as the example to follow. 

Then, in December 2025, one conversation changed everything.

For Sunken Ships, she shares how a political disagreement shattered the respect sheā€™d spent a lifetime building with her brother, and why he now feels like a stranger.

What was your relationship with your brother like growing up?

It was great. Heā€™s the oldest, so my younger brother and I always looked up to him. 

He was the best of us academically, and my parents constantly used him as the standard we should aspire to. Beyond being my older brother, I genuinely liked him as a person.

What made you two so close? 

Weā€™re similar and share a love for music, movies and the arts. There was nothing I couldnā€™t talk to him about. We’d discuss work, relationships, family issues and our plans for the future. If I were ever in trouble, he would be the first person Iā€™d reach out to for help. Ayo was one of the few people whose opinion I genuinely valued. 

Did you ever disagree with him?

Of course. We fought as most siblings do, but it was never serious. 

But our most recent disagreement is the worst weā€™ve ever had. And honestly, I donā€™t know if weā€™ll recover from it.

°Õ³ó±šĢżĀ is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.Ā Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.Ā .

What happened?

We fell out over our political differences. I know it sounds strange that something like that could upturn the bond we share as siblings, but thatā€™s just how I feel.

 I didnā€™t vote in the 2023 elections because I simply didnā€™t care.

Since then, Iā€™ve learnt my lessons. Nigeria has shown me proper shege, and Iā€™ve been forced to become more politically conscious. Iā€™ve encouraged the people around me to care, too, and Iā€™ve reached a point where most of them share my concerns and frustrations.

Iā€™d naturally assumed my brother would follow suit. I couldnā€™t have been more wrong.  

What do you mean?

My biggest gripe is his support of the APC. After I developed an interest in politics, I aligned myself with a party that actually cares about effecting change. And I encouraged my family and friends to support the same party. 

But not my brother. Not only was he hell-bent on keeping his support for a party thatā€™s gotten us to our current state, but he also took glee in defending some of the worst tribalist takes imaginable. 

Doesn’t he have the right to his own political choice, or did you at least ask his reasons?

I did. We were both home for Christmas in December 2025, so I pulled him aside to talk.

I couldnā€™t reconcile the brother Iā€™d admired all my life with someone willing to support people I believe are dishonest. Then he explained himself.  He said he didnā€™t want to antagonise powerful people he hoped to connect with someday.

What did you think of his reason?

The explanation made absolutely no sense, and it completely changed how I saw him. Iā€™d always held him in high regard, yet, in that moment, I realised he was willing to overlook everything the party represents as long as he benefited. 

I lost all respect for him that day.

Yikes. Did you express your disappointment, though?

In a way, I did. I tried to change his mind. I supported my argument against the party with examples of just how bad things have gotten in the country. But the more we argued, the more things escalated. 

I tagged him disappointing and greedy. He called me naive and foolish, especially for thinking my ā€˜big Englishā€™ could change reality. 

And that was when I landed the final blow. I regret my actions, but it was necessary.

What did you do?

Heā€™s always been insecure about his financial situation. He has a job, but the economy hasnā€™t been kind to him, just like the rest of us. So I told him that his continued support for the party wouldnā€™t guarantee his success in life or make him rich. I saw the hurt spread across his face immediately. Part of me wishes I hadnā€™t said those words.  

Did you try to apologise?

Not in that moment, I didnā€™t feel the need to. But every time I replay the scenario, I wish I could cut that part out.

And how have things been since then?

Weā€™ve barely spoken. I avoid him because I donā€™t trust myself not to say something worse.

I even unfollowed him everywhere because seeing him defend that party online only makes me angrier. Our relationship has changed for the worse.

What does the rest of your family think of this?

They all insist Iā€™m overreacting. My parents especially keep saying politics shouldnā€™t come between family. But thatā€™s not how I see it. 

To me, this isnā€™t just about politics. Itā€™s about values. Iā€™m scared of what my brother would do if he ever had access to real power.  

Has he reached out to you since your fight?

No. And I havenā€™t reached out either. Right now, the distance between us is for the best.

 I donā€™t see a future where things return to how they used to be, unless thereā€™s a fundamental change. Iā€™m too disappointed by what he stands for.  

Whatā€™s the hardest part about this fight with your brother?

Missing him. Ayo isnā€™t just my brother; we used to be friends. I wish we were still on the same page.

We asked Nigerians across generations about the first income they ever made and what they did with it.

ā€œI made my first income selling plantainsā€ ā€” Gani*, 64, M

ā€œThe first time I ever made money was from selling plantains in the early 1970s. I grew up in a polygamous family, and my father didnā€™t have enough money to send all of us to school. He agreed to pay for the education of only the first child of each of his four wives.

I wanted my younger brother to go to school too, so I approached my father for help. He gave me two plantain trees from his farm and said I could sell whatever I harvested and keep the money. The harvest was good that year, and after selling off the plantains, I made ā‚¦40. It was enough to pay his fees with some money left over to buy myself a new pair of sandals.ā€œ

ā€œI was a sales girl in my grandmaā€™s shopā€ ā€” Fayo*, 33, F

ā€œI got my first salary in 2007, working at my grandmotherā€™s shop during my long vacation. I had just finished SS 1, and my mother wanted to keep me busy.

So she sent me to spend the holiday with my grandma, who put me to work in her shop as a salesgirl. I learned a lot during those two months I spent working there.

The best part was that, at the end of the holiday, my grandma paid me ā‚¦10,000 in crisp new notes. Believe me, I was the biggest girl when I resumed school for the new session.ā€™

ā€œI earned my first money editing videos for YouTubersā€ ā€” David*, 29, M

ā€œDuring the COVID lockdown, I taught myself video editing from some YouTube tutorials and started applying for gigs on Upwork.

The first gig I landed, a company hired me to edit a few videos and paid me ā‚¦80,000.

The first thing I bought was a Wi-Fi device for better internet because I was tired of struggling with downloads and uploads. Then, I used the rest for personal enjoyment.

I got more clients after that and eventually turned editing into my side hustle.ā€

°Õ³ó±šĢżĀ is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.Ā Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.Ā .

ā€œMy first salary disappeared into transport fareā€ ā€” Tolu*, 24, (F)

ā€œMy first-ever salary came from a six-week internship while I was in university. I got paid ā‚¦40,000.

At first, I was happy, but the money disappeared from my account before I knew it. Iā€™m sure I spent most of it on food and transportation expenses.

It wasnā€™t the exciting payday story Iā€™d imagined, but it taught me my first lesson about budgeting and working life.ā€

ā€œI used my first salary to buy my mum a blenderā€ ā€” Temi*, 30, (F)

ā€œMy first proper job was as a teaching assistant after my A-levels in 2014. My salary was ā‚¦54,500. I had never held that much money in my life at 17.

My mum thought I was wasting my time doing that job, so as soon as I got paid, I stopped by a supermarket on the way home and bought her a brand new blender. Iā€™ll never forget how happy and surprised she was.

She still talks about that gift today, which is funny because I thought it was such a small thing. I just wanted to prove that I was doing a real job.ā€

ā€œMy love for football got me a jobā€ ā€” Emeka*, 31, M

ā€œWhile waiting for admission into university, I worked at a football viewing centre in my neighbourhood. I spent so much time watching matches there that the owner gave me a job arranging the chairs, collecting payment and closing up the shop.

My first month’s pay was ā‚¦15,000. I felt on top of the world. I spent almost all of it taking my friends out for food because I wanted everyone to know I was finally earning money.ā€

ā€œMy first salary bought my younger sisterā€™s textbooksā€ ā€” Esther*, 42, (F)

ā€œI got a teaching job at a private primary school after finishing polytechnic. The pay was only ā‚¦50,000 a month, but I was excited because it was a steady income.

When I received my first salary, I didn’t spend it on myself. My youngest sister was preparing for her final secondary school exams and needed textbooks. The pressure was a lot on my parents, and I decided to help out. Buying them for her felt better than anything I could have bought for myself.ā€

ā€œA cybercafĆ© gave me my first salaryā€ ā€” Kelvin*, 39, M

ā€œAfter WAEC in 2005, I got a job at a cybercafĆ©. I was very excited because I had always been interested in tech.

My first salary was ā‚¦10,000. I gave half to my mum and used the rest to buy a small Nokia phone. Owning that phone made me feel like a serious adult, even though I was still sharing a room with my younger brother.ā€

READ ALSO: 7 Nigerian Men Share the Cost of Being the ā€œMan of the Houseā€

At first, there was some worry that the rain would dampen the energy at the event, but there was no stopping the vibe when great DJs, talented chefs, amazing music experience booths and games delighted attendees. 

°Õ³ó±šĢżĀ is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.Ā Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.Ā .

The event kicked off at noon with Nollywood actor Tobi Bakre and co-host, Kaylah Oniwo engaging the crowd. There were so many activities for people of all ages to enjoy that there was no time to be bored.

The Knorr Jollof Fest wouldnā€™t be the talk of the town without the surprise reveal of its latest seasoning product offering: The Knorr Smokey Party Jollof Seasoning, which helps bring that signature smoky, party jollof scent and flavour to every pot, no matter the occasion. Not only did the brand unveil this product, but they also shared free samples with attendees.

Also, there were several vendors serving up different foods and flavours from snacks to full meals and desserts. On another, there were silent disco booths where attendees could enjoy Adekunle Goldā€™s genre-elevating album, Fuji. There was also a booth just like his album cover, where fans could recreate their own photos with the authentic Fuji aesthetic. On every side of the event, there were different Jollof sampling stations serving up all kinds of mouth-watering Jollof like Asun Jollof, Village Jollof, Suya Jollof and more.

The kiddies werenā€™t left out. They had a whole section with comfortable seating and interactive games for families, especially those with kids to enjoy. Media personality Taymesan held a live recording with different personalities at the event and engaged the audience with riveting gist about cooking and all things Jollof. There were also several masterclasses by renowned Nigerian Chefs who taught the secrets to their jollof recipes, including Chef Amaka, Chef Dee, and Chef Fregz.

Just when everyone thought the night couldnā€™t get better, Adekunle Gold himself turned up to give an amazing performance of some of the songs on his hit album, Fuji. Even though the Knorr Jollof Fest 2026 shook up Lagos in the best way, Knorr isnā€™t stopping the Jollof enjoyment bus. The brand is also taking the celebration to Abuja and Port-Harcourt to share this amazing experience with more Nigerians.

For these women, what started as intense affection quickly became unsettling. They share the moments they realised their partners’ behaviour had crossed into obsession, and what it took to walk away. 

ā€œHe threatened to k*ll himself in front of my fatherā€™s houseā€ ā€” Bukola*, 44

My first boyfriend in uni was a mistake. We met at a canteen I visited regularly at school. He seemed sweet and wrote terrible poetry, so I fell for him.  I loved how openly affectionate he was. Unlike my friendsā€™ boyfriends, he wasnā€™t ashamed of showing me off, and that made me feel special. I also became famous as the lover girl in my hostel.

One day, I had to leave school in Kwara for an impromptu visit to my family home in Ibadan. Before leaving, I asked my roommates to tell him Iā€™d be back in a few days when he came looking for me. 

Two days later, I woke up to loud wailing outside our house. My father went to check and found my boyfriend rolling around in the dirt.

He was crying and threatening to end his life. He said he had no reason to live if I didnā€™t follow him back to school. My father had to involve the police.

That incident got me into serious trouble at home, so I ended the relationship. Unfortunately, he didnā€™t accept the breakup well.  I had to involve my course advisor before he left me alone. I think he had a mental issue.

°Õ³ó±šĢżĀ is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.Ā Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.Ā .

ā€œHe called me 105 times in 3 hoursā€ ā€” Blessing*, 35

At the beginning of our relationship, my exā€™s constant attention was flattering. He constantly told me how much he missed me and acted as if I were the most important person in his world. 

The problem was that he expected me to be available all the time.

If I responded late, heā€™d bombard me with messages. He said it was because he cared and wanted to hear my voice. After a while, his antics got exhausting.

My last straw came six months into our relationship. Iā€™d gone to the cinema with my friends and told him Iā€™d be away from my phone for a while.

When the movie ended, Iā€™d gotten over 100 missed calls and  90 messages. I thought there was an emergency. I rushed to call him back, panicking, and all he asked was, “How was the movie?”

Over time, I grew anxious whenever he called. I ended things shortly afterwards and blocked him everywhere.

ā€œHe followed me all the way to universityā€ ā€” Timilehin*, 30

When I was in SS2, I dated a boy from a different school. Like most secondary school relationships, we didnā€™t last long. After two months, I got bored and broke up. 

What I didnā€™t know was that the decision would lead to almost two years of lies and stalking. After the breakup, I became friends with a biracial boy on Facebook. We chatted often, shared photos and talked about our plans for university. For more than a year, he was one of my closest online friends.

When I got admission into university, I excitedly shared the news with him. Thatā€™s when he revealed he was attending the same school, and we agreed to meet at one of the parks once we resumed. Imagine my shock when I arrived at the school park and realised it was my ex.

Heā€™d created a fake profile to prove we still had a connection. I felt sick. I told him I felt betrayed and warned him to never contact me again. Unfortunately, blocking him online didnā€™t stop me from seeing him around campus.

ā€œHe rented a flat on my street after we broke upā€ ā€” Aisha*, 37

My ex struggled to accept the word “no”. If I needed space after an argument, he’d keep calling until I answered. Every boundary I set was just a suggestion to him.

When I finally broke up with him, I thought the worst was over.  I was wrong. A month later, I saw him walking down my street. At first, I assumed he was visiting someone, but I kept ā€œrunning into himā€ in the neighbourhood.

Eventually, I found out he’d rented an apartment less than five minutes from my house. When I confronted him, he claimed it was a coincidence, but I didnā€™t believe him. 

I only felt safe again after I moved and refused to tell him where I lived.

ā€œHe took several photos of me while I was sleepingā€ ā€” Ifeoluwa*, 31

A few years back, I dated an older guy in his late 30s. He seemed level-headed and cool. I used to joke that I wanted a man who was obsessed with me, but that relationship taught me better.

From the beginning, he said he wanted to marry me because of my beauty. I didnā€™t take it seriously; I assumed he was making his intentions for our future clear. But once we became official, I realised he was obsessed with my looks. 

He badgered me for selfies, wanted video calls all the time and complimented my looks during every conversation. It was suffocating.

My final straw was finding my photos on his phone. I was asleep in all the pictures. When I confronted him, he said he was documenting my beauty and looked at the pictures whenever we were apart.

It was so unsettling. What if he wanted to use me for rituals or something?

Sunken Ships: My Older Sisterā€™s Boyfriend Is Ruining Our Relationship