1. “Who are the network providers again?”
Ah! How many years and you don’t remember MTN?
2. “How do you load [insert network provider] credit again?”
I can’t even vex. I’m still here and I don’t even know it.
3. “I really missed [insert Nigerian food].”
Ehn! Go and eat na.
4. “Ugh! The internet is so slow here.”
Na so we see am.
5. “How much is that in [insert dollars/pounds]?”
You see yourself.
6. “Has light always been this bad?”
What are you asking?
7. “Oh! When did they renovate [insert first place they visit]?”
Let’s go, biko.
8. “OMG! It’s sooo hot.”
We apologize on behalf of the sun.
9. “How do you get to [insert place that is 5 minutes from their house] again?”
Don’t vex me, abeg.
10. “Ugh! Traffic is so terrible.”
You know all of you are adding to it sha.
11. “Do you know anywhere I can get [insert oyinbo thing]?”
Organic kini? Nope. Nah. Uhn-Uhn.
12. “So this place is still like this?”
It’s not your fault.
13. “Is [insert last spot they visited before leaving] still open?”
The spot is almost always a club.
14. “I think I’m reacting to the [insert water, food, or air].”
Ah! Sorry oh.
15. “Wow! They have [insert oyinbo thing] here now. That’s nice.”
We are trying small small.
